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Is It A Death Sentence For Your Marriage? Separated Partner Walking.

Posted by thegatekeeper, in Separation, Divorce 23 May 2012 · 205 views

Divorce figures are climbing fast, and they have been for some time. If you don't want yourself and your partner to become just another statistic, sitting in a divorce solicitor's office, you simply cannot afford to become complacent in your marriage.

It's been shown that one of the most common causes of a conflict that eventually leads to divorce is the mentality that your partner is more at fault than you are. This mentality tends to lead to the belief that change, growth and development within the relationship is not your responsibility. This attitude can be a death sentence for a marriage, as successful relationships take a lot of work on BOTH sides.

If you and your partner are having troubles within your marriage, it's all too easy to subconsciously distance yourself from your partner. An aversion to spending time with your husband or wife, an unwillingness to help out around the house, or with odd jobs, and even a loss of sexual interest are all symptoms that can come out of a clash or argument within a couple. Even if you don't consciously realise that this is happening, you need to be vigilant in times of stress or conflict to be sure that you don't fall into this trap - it's only going to make things worse.

If you recognise that the atmosphere within your marriage is no longer the plain sailing that it once was, you should take the first step. It may be that your partner is oblivious to the fact that you are unhappy, or that they are unwilling to raise the issue, preferring to wait until you do so. Obviously is you're both holding your tongues on this basis, the situation is only going to worsen, as no-one is doing anything to fix it.

So what's to be done? The first step should always be open, frank communication. It can be difficult to bring up issues that you perceive as flaws in your partner's attitude or behavior, but remember who it is you're speaking to. Your husband or wife, even if times have been tough lately, is someone who most likely knows you better than anyone. If you approach the discussion carefully, you will be able to initiate a pro-active conversation geared towards fixing problems, rather than generating further animosity.

Get yourselves to a point whereby you are each aware of what the other sees as a complication or problem within the relationship. It's important that you don't view any issues raised to this effect as a personal attack, but as a request for change and growth.

Once these issues are clear in your minds, you can begin the process of resolving them. Some of these issues won't be within your control, but the vast majority can be dealt with if approached in the right way. Often these issues stem from feelings of neglect or unappreciation, so the fix can sometimes be as simple as setting aside a night or two per week specifically to do something as a couple. Having pre-arranged date nights forces you both to address cracks in your relationship by spending time together. This can help to rekindle the feelings of romance towards your partner that have been waning lately.

The bottom line is openness. Problems can't be solved without discussion, so be willing to discuss! Compromise is key - show willing to make the relationship stronger, and your partner will most likely to do the same. If this isn't the case, then the sad fact may be that a divorce is unavoidable. Don't give up on your marriage prematurely, however - be sure to every possible opportunity to patch things up first.

If you're convinced that the issues can't be resolved, then and only then should you begin to approach a divorce solicitor. If you're unsure where to turn for support in the difficult process, your first port of call should be to speak to a divorce solicitor, as their professional input can prove invaluable.

Lemon & Co. are a group of established and capable divorce solicitors in Swindon - for more information and advice on the benefits of working with a divorce solicitor, you can visit the Lemon & Co. website.





Excellent article!  Sadly in this day and age, many people would rather throw away a relationship instead of putting in the extra work to fix it.  Discarding a marriage in just another excuse to seek out the “bigger and better deal”.  We’ve become a lazy society that’s always looking for a quick-fix to personal satisfaction.  Seek out a person whose parents have been married for eons and take your time getting to know each first.  Marriage is not a race.  It’s a slow trot to happiness
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